A special Thank you to all my staff for making this interview possible on such short notice. I know I can be difficult at times, but you all made this possible and I thank you.
Date 11-13-06 8:30pm EST.
Iran's President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad enters the room and sits down across from me. We are at my home residence just 77 miles outside of Washington DC.
Mark: Welcome Mr. President, do I call you Mr. President or should I call you something else?
Ahmadinejad: What is that I smell? are you cooking here?
Mark: Ahh, I am not sure, 'hey honey! are you cooking something in the kitchen?"
inaduible screams from my wife. I think she said "what?!".
Ahmadinejad: Your house is very nice. Do all American live like this?
Mark: Humm, Man , I hope not! We are pretty ordinary folks Mr. President. But were pretty happy with what we have.
Ahmadinejad: So, why do you Americans and the Bush Devil hate my country so much?
Mark: You have said that Israel no longer had any reason to exist and would soon disappear. Your exact words, and I quote 'This regime, thanks to God, has lost the reason for its existence.'
Ahmadinejad: Is that a picture of Dolly Parton on your wall?
Mark: ahh, No. You also called Israeli leaders a "group of terrorists" . Why?
Ahmadinejad: I believe Dolly Parton's breast are an act of revenge against her husband! The whole world knows that the U.S. and Britain are enemies of the Iranian nation!
Mark: ok, but what about..
Ahmadinejad: No woman should bare her breasts in that manner! ever! Where did you get that picture? Please tell me where I may find one.
Mark: What picture?
Ahmadinejad: Do you mind if I smoke?
Mark: Well, I would prefer you didn't, maybe we could..
Ahmadinejad: Thank you.
Mark: ok, I guess you can smoke. You have said the Nazis' slaughter of 6 million Jews during World War II was a myth, and that Israel should be wiped off the map or moved to Germany or the United States. Do you really believe this?
Ahmadinejad: Tell me, where would a man like me meet someone like Britany Spears? Near here? I could make her happy woman, like no other man could.
Mark: Well then, ok. I suppose Hollywood.
Ahmadinejad: The Zionists and their protectors are the most detested people in all of humanity, and the hatred is increasing every day!
Mark: Who? people in Hollywood?
Ahmadinejad: The worse their crimes, the quicker they will fall!
Mark: What are we talking about here?
Ahmadinejad: I believe the German people are prisoners of the Holocaust. More than 60 million were killed in World War II . . . The question is: Why is it that only the Jews are at the center of attention
Mark: are you kidding me?
Ahmadinejad: Do you know Britney Spears?
Mark: no, not personally. Can we..
Ahmadinejad: Although the main solution is for the elimination of the Zionist regime, at this stage an immediate cease-fire must be implemented!
Mark: Alrighty then. Thank you for your time. I appreciate it.
Ahmadinejad: Can I have a Coke a Cola?
Mark: I have beer. Would you like a beer?
Ahmadinejad: the most detested people in all humanity
Mark: Who me? or the beer?
Ahmadinejad: They kill women and children, young and old. And, behind closed doors, they make plans for the advancement of their evil goals.
Mark: Thanks again!
All in all, I thought the interview went pretty well. He smelled kind of funny and he was a bit smug at times. He actually took with him all my Miller Lite. I thought that was a little rude. But he was my guest, so I let it slide.
Thanks again to all my staff! You guys and gals are just the best!