Thursday, December 09, 2010

What's the real difference between a Liberal and a Conservative?

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so

many others her age, she considered herself to be a very Liberal

Democrat, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in Favor of

higher taxes to support more government programs, in other Words

redistribution of wealth.

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch

Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the Lectures that

she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she

felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to

keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to Higher

taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs. The

self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to Be the

truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by Asking how

she was doing in school.

Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and

let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that She was

taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which

left her no time to go out and party like other people She knew. She

didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many

college friends, because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked , 'How is your friend Audrey

doing?' She replied, ' Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are

Easy classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She Is

so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited

to all the parties and lots of times she doesn't even show up for

classes because she's too hung over.'

Her wise father asked his daughter, 'Why don't you go to the Dean's

office and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your

friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA, and

certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA.' The

daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired

back, 'That's a crazy idea, how would that be fair! I've worked really

hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard

work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played

while I worked my tail off!'

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, 'Welcome to The

Republican party.'

If you ever wondered what side of the fence you sit on, this is a great

If a conservative doesn't like guns, he doesn't buy one.

If a liberal doesn't like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a conservative is a vegetarian, he doesn't eat meat..

If a liberal is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for


If a conservative is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.

If a liberal is homosexual, he demands legislated respect.

If a conservative is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his

A liberal wonders who is going to take care of him.

If a conservative doesn't like a talk show host, he switches channels.

Liberals demand that those they don't like be shut down.

If a conservative is a non-believer, he doesn't go to church.

A liberal non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced.

(Unless it's a foreign religion, of course!)

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